Hemming and Hawing between Indigo and Orange

This week for me is going to be very much like the painting below and I will tell you today what makes me think so...



Painting by Dita



M is away for the whole week on a business trip and I have I&J only to myself...I am not overly good at whining but I literally have the home, work, drop-offs, pick-ups, cooking, cleaning all to myself...and I really wouldn’t mind all of that if I had M beside me...but alas he isn’t!...and to add to all of that, every time I tune into the online radio...all that the whole world is listening to seems to be Romantic Songs!

Starting from very sombre dark blue (Indigo) the colours of the painting slowly blend into brighter shades of magenta, red, orange and even yellow...very much like what I am feeling now and what I think I will be feeling when the end of this week approaches... It’s as if my normal cheerful self is being unobtrusive, meek and modest anxious to break free to the sunlit patches of happiness but hemming and hawing with the prospect...like being apprehensive yet composed at the same time...

I wonder if Ma felt the same when Baba had to go on his week-long sometimes month-long work tours. Did she also have to deal with this forlorn uneasiness but still stay happy for us? When the much awaited phone call from Baba came every evening (there were no mobile phones then) ... did her feelings burst into orange and red?



Painting by Jean Baptiste Santerre (1650 – 1717, French)



Or for that matter, how did Thamma (grand-mother) deal with the pain of separation when Dada had to go to the States for several months in the 1950’s....she had no access to phones or emails and all she had to rely on was hand-written letters, the receipt of which was at the mercy of the turbulent times...I close my eyes and think....maybe after a hard day’s work...when everybody else was in bed, she would light up a candle and read those letters from Dada, shrouding herself in the aura of bright reds and oranges...coming out of her sombre, soft pedalled self and dreaming of  breaking free into the world of emphatic happiness...

 I am thankful to the modern world for SMS’, emails, face-times, webchats and all the other means of communication that makes separation so much more bearable...although the romance of hand-written letters is lost, I still feel the tinge of Orange, Pink or Red within me when I get an email or when I spend the train journey to office SMS-ing M.

How do you feel when you or your loved one has to be away on business? How do you deal with it? Do your feelings also vary between deep dark Indigo to bright Magenta and Orange?